This week I have found out just how important being appreciated is to me.I am a young woman who has been married for less than a year.I know I haven’t got this whole marriage thing down pat yet. We still eat a lot of drive-thru cheeseburgers. I never seem to have the right shirt clean when my husband wants to wear it. There are always dirty dishes in the sink, mostly because I only do dishes before I cook. And so-on and so-forth. I could drag on all day about my lack of wifely skills. But I do love my husband. I love doing things for him. I love buying him that thing he’s been talking about and looking at for months but won’t get for himself. I love when he asks where his favorite pair of shoes are and I can tell him they are on his shoe rack. I also will never get over the feeling of the joy when I cook something and see him go back for seconds.
Sometimes, when we are having a bad day, laundry all over the bedroom floor, no food in the kitchen, sink full of dishes, he gets irritated. Not that I blame him. But when he snaps at me, it makes me a little irritated. I begin to feel like no matter how much I do do for him, he’ll always be more concerned with what I haven’t do than what I have done. Sometimes, a simple “Thank you for all you do!” would make all the difference.
But this last week, I realized it’s not just a marriage thing. It carries over into all of your relationships. Saturday was my high-school best friend’s baby shower. I, along with her mother, were in charge. I found the venue (after a phone call I received of the two of them completely frazzled because there was a truck pull going on in town, and all the places were booked). For free, I might add. I also spent hours and hours throughout the week working on decorations. In addition, many hours were put into hand-painting a camouflage gift basket and arranging it just so.
All of this time and effort only to run around town the whole day of and not get a single thank you. Not a “Wow, this looks great!” Or even a “You really saved our butts!” I got complaints instead. “This place isn’t really big enough!” (It was bigger than what we needed) “How come they get corsages and not me!” (I made the grandmothers-to-be ribbon corsages and not the great-grandmothers-to-be.) “You’re controlling my life!” (I had the key and they did not.)
Needless-to-say, by the time I cleaned up, returned the key, and finished writing the gift registry, I got home and was completely infuriated. I complained to my husband when he got home, then put on my big girl panties, and got over it. I made the decision to not bust my butt for people that don’t appreciate it. Why should I give it my all when just enough to get it done is seen the same way?
I was really proud of the work I had done. I was even starting to consider doing those things and selling them. I was down in the dumps for a while about it. It simply hurt my feelings.
I realized just then how important feeling appreciated really is. Then, I began to think about whether or not I make other people feel that way. Growing up, my dad was always asking me if I thanked someone when they gave me something or complimented me. I am thankful for that. I am still very certain to say thank you when going through the checkout line or when I stranger holds the door open for me.
But what about the people I see everyday? Like my husband. That wonderful man who would lasso the moon for me if I wanted it. I now there are times when he does something for me and I don’t show him that I appreciate him and things he does for me. I’m not perfect. I get angry and forgetful at times.
We could all stand to say a few more ‘thank you’s and ‘I appreciate you’s. We could also hear it a little more. Think about that when someone does something for you. Life is short. We all need to appreciate everyone while we can.